How do you boast about being slow? It’s probably not a claim most of us think about, nor is it something anyone is used to treating as an achievement. Everything is approached with a certain vigour these days that you never hear someone say something, “I took so long getting here I had to bring scrunchies for when my hair grew too long on the journey.” See? It sounds stupid. It’s not easy to come up with a genuinely impressive boast about how slow you are.
Well, one Japanese rollercoaster has solved that problem. How? It can boast the following:
It was so damn slow that it derailed, and no one noticed.
That’s how slow it was.
The Family Coaster at Arakawa Amusement Park in Arakawa Ward, Tokyo stands just 16 feet above ground and travels at a mind boggling 8.5mph or 13.7kmh which is about twice the average walking speed. You could keep up with this roller coaster by lightly jogging alongside it which just goes to show that it’s hardly Fast & The Furious.
Recently the coaster derailed while still in motion. Normally this would represent a catastrophic error, the sort of the tragic accident that precedes a loss of life or limb. Thankfully given its leisurely pace the coaster just kind of… went a bit slower for a bit and then stopped.
Asahi Shimbub was one the coaster with her 6-year-old son and she described her experience as follows:
“The coaster was moving so slowly, I didn’t notice it had stopped.”
Which pretty much sums it up.
Interestingly despite the massive comic potential of this scenario someone still managed to bugger it up. Rather than inform passengers about what had happened, or try to get help from experts, the nearby staff decided the best solution was to get hammers and start whacking the living daylights out of the coaster in the hope they could knock it back onto the rails.
This scared quite a few people who were sat around wondering why the coaster they were in was being assaulted by hammer-crazy staff. They decided to whip out their phones and call the fire brigade. In the end it was the work of emergency responders that got everyone down from the dizzying height of 16 feet.
Just goes to show, even the funniest of situations can get out of hand when you give an idiot a hammer.